In Forum: Offtopic Discussions
By User: LHFan23432
I appreciate your thoughts, everyone. Seriously, it means a lot.
I also just finished writing another piece, and I definitely would like some feedback on this. Don't be afraid to critique it, either -- I thrive off of it. :]
Instinct Succumbed
In that underhanded bang of the way,
I sit -- stealth creeps.
Overcoming typical rhythms Iâve not yet broken...
Instinct succumbed, illusions foretold.
To what does it attempt to elicit?
How so, then, do I undergo...
To reap all thatâs to be sowed?
Why must the warrow mind strain upon impossible stretches of strife?
Such conniving, blundering foolishness I know life to be!
With the conundering, blissful ignorance of the wandering mind,
to what purposes does instinct then serve,
If it remains prone to cracking under supposedly buckled pretenses?
Though internally we seem trustworthy,
Most certainly a storm may well steer off course intuition once thought correct.
Unseen qualms throughout the way,
Yet with both conflictedness and clarity withstanding along time.
Perhaps edifices already known help clear this fogâ¦
Yes, this fog that both comforts and controls.
By User: LHFan23432
I appreciate your thoughts, everyone. Seriously, it means a lot.
I also just finished writing another piece, and I definitely would like some feedback on this. Don't be afraid to critique it, either -- I thrive off of it. :]
Instinct Succumbed
In that underhanded bang of the way,
I sit -- stealth creeps.
Overcoming typical rhythms Iâve not yet broken...
Instinct succumbed, illusions foretold.
To what does it attempt to elicit?
How so, then, do I undergo...
To reap all thatâs to be sowed?
Why must the warrow mind strain upon impossible stretches of strife?
Such conniving, blundering foolishness I know life to be!
With the conundering, blissful ignorance of the wandering mind,
to what purposes does instinct then serve,
If it remains prone to cracking under supposedly buckled pretenses?
Though internally we seem trustworthy,
Most certainly a storm may well steer off course intuition once thought correct.
Unseen qualms throughout the way,
Yet with both conflictedness and clarity withstanding along time.
Perhaps edifices already known help clear this fogâ¦
Yes, this fog that both comforts and controls.